Perhaps you believe
That I've been slacking of late.
You should see me crawl.

I swore I would snap
If you said, "Not the mama!"
You would not listen.

The red beast attacks!
Why hast thou forsaken me,
Oh dearest mother?

Trust me on this one --
I just looked in this diaper.
In here lies much funk.

Baseball season looms
Bring on the failure and woe
For my poor daddy